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How we can help Cyborg update her CPU

Some people are just not very smart. Earlier this week, Cyborg took to twitter to try to make herself relevant once again. Somewhere in Cyborg’s delusional mind it make sense to do the following:

  1. Sign a contract with the UFC
  2. Ask to be released from her contract one week later
  3. Throw a temper tantrum for the next two years that she doesn’t get to fight Ronda

Here’s what Dana White had to say about the whole ordeal.

“I’m telling you right now, she wants nothing to do with this fight with Ronda Rousey. This is the biggest show in the world.  We’re working with her to get her a deal or whatever. When you send a letter from your lawyer and your doctor saying I will die if I try to make 135 (pounds), it’s just the goofiest thing. I’ve never seen anything like it in the fight business.


Okay, so you don’t want to make 135, but you want to talk about fighting Ronda. First of all, you tested positive for steroids and got stripped of your title. And you’re trying to talk about how Ronda doesn’t want to fight you, but she’s the champion at 135. If Ronda goes and does the fight at 140 and does the fight at 140, it’s not even for a title. The fight just makes no sense.


Cyborg is pretty much irrelevant right now. She really is. She’s irrelevant.  Go out there and win some fights again, get your name back, stay clean, stay off some steroids and get your career back on track and then we’ll talk.  But for her to think that everybody should move around and jump through hoops for her is insane.”

Of course after Ronda Rousey defended her title this last weekend against Cat Zingano in an unbelievable 14 seconds, Cyborg takes to twitter to give Ronda some advice in a desperate attempt to stay relevant. What Cyborg didn’t know is that Rousey’s mom, Dr. AnnMaria De Mars, had some advice of her own.


If you’re ever seen the movie the Terminator, you’ll recognize this scene below from the second movie. It reminds us a lot of Cyborg.

John Connor: Can you learn stuff you haven’t been programmed with so you could be… you know, more human? And not such a dork all the time?

The Terminator: My CPU is a neural net processor; a learning computer. The more contact I have with humans the more I learn. But Skynet pre-sets the switch to read-only when we’re sent out alone.

Sarah Connor: Doesn’t want you doing too much thinking, huh?

The Terminator: No.

John Connor: Can we reset the switch?


Luckily, Cyborg isn’t actually a computer and does have the ability to “learn stuff”. Lets help her reset the switch!

In case you didn’t know, Ronda Rousey’s mom creates educational video games that help make people smarter. When you play them, it’s like doing push ups for your brain.

You can even donate one of Dr. AnnMaria De Mars’ amazing educational video games to Cyborg if you would like to help her update her CPU. Just visit her website if you would like to give Cris Cyborg a chance at getting a little bit smarter.

Or you could donate a class license and give the gift of knowledge to an entire group, and in exchange for your kindness Ronda will mail you an autographed badge created by Gene Le Bell.


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